Welcome to the legendary Country Inn and Suites, where comfort barely flirts with you before ghosting its promises. First off, you'll notice a placard broadcasting that both vending and ice machines are available—only to discover that, surprise, only the ice machine showed up.
Every corner of this place is a quirky homage to neglect: stains pull off interpretive dances on the walls, and the sheets wear spots like battle scars. In fact, if you're in the mood for a workout, making your own bed here might just become the highlight of your stay. Even the American flag has taken on a rugged, post-apocalyptic chic look—like it’s trying to tell you, "We gave it a solid shot."
Over in the lobby bathroom, paper towels have taken a two-day vacation, and the hand sanitizer in its machines seems to have gone missing altogether. The pièce de résistance? Both the pool and the water cooler have apparently decided that water is overrated.
Oh, and toilet paper? That’s the VIP of this establishment—only available at the front desk, as if you're on an unexpected scavenger hunt for the basics. And on your final morning, the absence of hot water wraps up your stay with the kind of irony that keeps you clinging to the promise of a refund.
If you’re up for a DIY hotel experience where every basic amenity becomes a treasure hunt, this is your playground. Otherwise, you might want to explore elsewhere for something that practices what it preaches.